Boys & Affection

Today I got a spontaneous hug from my 8-year-old. What a shock. He has reached the point where he only gives me a hug if I ask for one.

I had gone to school to pick him up. He and his friend wanted to know if Tobi could go to the friend's house. The friend's father was there and had already said yes. They were just waiting for me. Knowing that I often say no on school days--especially when no advance notice has been made--Tobi was so shocked that I said yes that it resulted in a spontaneous hug--in front of other people, no less!

I distinctly remember the day he started shunning familial endearment. One day after kindergarten, we were waiting for some fried potatoes, and I casually draped my arm around his shoulders. He gently shrugged me off. I got the message, and I was o.k. with it. My little boy didn't need his mother clinging to him.

I still greatly enjoy my 5-year-old's displays of affection. When I drop him off at school in the morning, he loudly shouts, "Bye Mom. I love you!" When he finishes pre-school for the day, he will run across the playground at full speed and leap into my arms as a greeting for all the world to see.

I'll enjoy it while I can!

Tobi's 1001 pages

Tobi's elementary school set up a reading contest among the 2nd-5th grades for the October Break (11 days). The teachers had noticed that students often lose reading fluency over school breaks. The goal was to see which class could read the most pages (at their grade level) over break.

As an avid reader myself, I was really excited about this contest. The first few days we plodded along with me giving a lot of encouragement. Bayo and I dedided to offer Tobi some prizes if he could reach certain levels:

600 pages = a candy bar
800 pages = a small container of ice cream
1000 pages = N1000 (about $8.50) for shopping

Well, he made it to 1001 pages at the last minute. I let him stay up til 11 p.m. the night before school started! Even though it probably wasn't good judgment to let him stay up so late on a school night, I was quite thrilled to see his determination to reach a goal under pressure.

After school I gave him his 1000 naira for a shopping excursion. Here's the breakdown of how he spent it:
N100--candy
N900--3 cans of fruit cocktail and canned peaches!

Last week I had found the peaches in a store, and Tobi was stunned beyond belief at this great treasure!

Tobi's teacher has been conducting periodic reading fluency tests for all the 2nd graders. It will be interesting to see if his reading fluency has gone up after this great burst of reading.

A Day of Rest

Taking a sabbath rest...interesting idea that I've never really solidified in my life. Yes, we go to church on Sunday and don't go to the office, but is that all there is to a sabbath rest? I don't think so. I tended to use Sundays as a day to get caught up at home. I never mentally took a true rest. God ordained a day of rest. Did God need to rest? No, but I believe he wanted to subject creation to a rhythm of rest.

During a Bible study I attended we were encouraged to find a way of taking a sabbath rest. One friend said their family takes a sabbath from 4 p.m. Saturday til 4 p.m. Sunday. I asked why they stopped at 4 p.m. Sunday. She said they always have homework to finish up and lunches to get packed for Monday morning. Fair enough. I decided to give it a try.

I've been working on taking a sabbath rest for about 5 weeks now. I find myself really looking forward to this mini-vacation in the midst of a normal week. I must admit, it takes a very conscious effort to plan to 'do nothing.' It involves planning ahead with meals. I try to have some things on hand that I just need to heat up. The main thing I need to do is make sure I don't get on the computer...because that quickly turns into work.

During our sabbath rest, I read a lot--to the kids and just for myself. I've been trying to take naps on Sunday, but I haven't been very successful yet.

Sunday is a big visiting day in Nigeria, but we basically stay home. If we go out, it's just to Bezer Home for a hike. One weekend we went on hikes both on Saturday and Sunday. When is the last time I was such a carefree mother to just jump in the car and do something like that?

The mental break gained from a sabbath rest has definitely been worth it. I find that I'm very refreshed and ready to meet the challenges of the new week. One time my refreshed state of mind back-fired on me. I was feeling so rested, I decided just to check a few emails one Sunday night after the kids were in bed. At 1 a.m. I finally got off the computer. Monday morning came a little too quickly! Hopefully I won't repeat that mistake!

Looking forward to Saturday afternoon!

Open Doors

At our staff meeting for the Self-Sustainability (sewing) Program, on September 1, I announced that we would not take any more women into the sewing program until January 2009. An hour after our meeting was over, Sarah, our head counselor, met me and told me to sit down.

After our staff meeting, Sarah had met with various women who needed to see her. Three stood out:

Tina*, an HIV+ woman in her 40s had recently been laid off from her job as a clerk at the university. She really wanted to join the sewing program because she has no other means of income at this time. She has been without work for 15 months. It is extremely difficult to find a job in Nigeria.

The next woman who came, Janet*, is someone Sarah knew years ago. Sarah described her as being very well-off and pleasantly plump when she knew her in the past. Sarah was surprised to see how emaciated the woman is now. Janet was never able to have children, and when she became sickly due to HIV complications, her relations decided to send her home to the village to die. But Janet wasn’t ready to die. She had heard of Mashiah Foundation and she was determined to come and learn how to sew so she could feed herself.

Then a disabled woman named Nancy* met with Sarah. Nancy’s wheelchair is in need of repair. For the meantime she gets around on her hands. She too has HIV. She survives by selling local brew in her neighborhood. A friend who is HIV+ told her about Mashiah Foundation. Although Nancy will not be able to use a treadle sewing machine, we have some other projects that she can do such as beading.

As I listened to Sarah narrate these three stories, I just smiled, and said, “God, what are you up to?” We make our own plans, but God has the final say. I was strongly convinced that we are not to close our doors at this time. Four months is a long time for someone to wait when they are already despairing of life. Instead of closing our doors, we have decided to keep our doors open, knowing that that is what Christ would do.

*names have been changed

I'm Back

Wow--It's been awhile! It took me a good 30 minutes to get into my blogger account. I did write down the user name and password for reference, but I just couldn't get in. Finally I was able to reset my password. Hopefully I'll be posting more often now so remembering my password shouldn't be such an ordeal!

It's only right that I share a bit about what has sidelined me for the past weeks. Back in November 07, the ELCA asked the Women of Hope to make a quilt replicating this He Qi painting. I don't know how large the actual painting is, but we had a computer printed picture that was 10" x 13". We were asked to replicate it as an 18' x 24' quilt--maybe I should call it a tapestry. Sometimes I'm even surprised that I accepted the job. It was so far beyond me that I would wake in the middle of the night with a kind of terror--how am I ever going to get that done?!

I left the picture on my piano for months. Somehow I thought that inspiration would eventually strike, and I would just know how to do it. Prior to this, almost all of my quilting has been straight lines. How on earth were we going to make all those curves--and get it to look decent?

Well, inspiration never did strike. (What did I hear about inspiration once? It's actually 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.) Finally our deadline was looming far too close. I just had to shelve everything else on my schedule and sit down with the women and start. Our methods were rough at best. I took my color picture and made overhead tranparencies with the photocopy machine. The transparencies were not that clear. Then we went to a school with a very tall wall and projected the images onto gumstay (something like interfacing). We traced out the picture in 6 sections with an overhead projector. Later much of our pattern had to be sketched by hand because it just wasn't clear. We began our sewing with the two candles in the lower left. To my shock, it only took us 30 minutes to figure out the curve technique. Do you mean I lived with fear all those months when the solution was really that easy? The women quickly caught on.

The actual piecing took about 3 weeks with a core group of 13 women doing the work. The machine quilting took longer than that simply because our new long-arm quilting machine kept breaking down. We have since learned many tricks of operating that machine: #1 is brush lint out of the bobbincase every 20 minutes or so. We assembled the quilt in 3 sections--that's the only way it was possible to get it on the machine.

Only after we had finished did some of the women confess that they didn't believe this job was possible. It was wonderful to watch their continuous transformation into fabric artists. I had started the job by having my hand in every detail, but gradually I realized that Esther, the project manager, was fully capable of leading this project. When they reached an impasse, they would come and ask me for advice on how to proceed.

The first time I saw the whole thing stitched together, I had this kind of holy fear/awe when I looked at it. It was so much more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. For a first, very rough attempt (oh yes, there are flaws), how did it look that much like the original painting?

Years back I came across a quote from Charlie Peacock: We create out of the imagination of God. I just feel so much that God's hand is on this quilt. Yes, we worked very hard, but it's just not possible to take full credit for how well it turned out.

We shipped it to Chicago today via FedEx (that cost an arm and a couple of legs). Total weight: 61 pounds. I just felt kind of drained after we sent it--like, is it really over? Later in the afternoon I suddenly realized that we did not put our label anywhere on the quilt. I couldn't believe I had forgotten that--me, the one who insists that all of our work bear our label with the red ribbon. I toyed around with the idea of sending a label to Chicago and asking someone to handstitch it on the back. A few hours later, it hit me, that forgetting the label made perfect sense. It's God's quilt--let the recognition stop there.

Monday gathering

Today we moved our Monday gathering to a new place. We used to meet on the Bezer Home compound, but due to the construction of our new Vocational Training Center, there was no room left for us. So we packed up our tent and headed out the back gate to the beautiful rocky hills. This is also part of Mashiah Foundation's land. It's completely undeveloped, and we actually like it that way for now. We will have room to expand whenever the Lord leads us.

It threatened to rain this afternoon which would have sent us scurrying for cover. But thankfully the storm clouds passed us by. The weather got quite cool though. Women pulled out extra sweatshirts and stocking caps for their children.

Esther David, the matron of Bezer Home, is pictured above. She recently attended a special training for those who take care of people with HIV. Today I asked her to share the knowledge that she learned from the workshop. She gave basic tips about caring for babies, providing good nutrition for children, etc. Esther's Hausa is sprinkled with English here and there so I generally caught the gist of what she was saying. One thing she told the women is that they can actually eat the backs (skins) of the potatoes, that it's actually very healthy. The women just shook their heads at that.

The rest of our time today was devoted to auditions for our 2nd Women of Hope album. In 2007, we produced "I Must Go with Jesus" as their first album. We have had modest sales both in Nigeria and in the U.S. All of the songs are in Hausa with a few verses sung in English. I really feel that the CD captures the hope and joy of the women. I never tire of listening to it. Well, now we're ready to do the 2nd one.

Today I announced on-the-spot auditions. First I told the women that if they auditioned, they were telling me that they are ready to speak out and to let their faces be seen. I was quite shocked that 33 women tried out today! It was great to see some new people get involved. We are planning to do 8 songs: 6 in Hausa, 1 in Igbo, 1 in Yoruba. These are the three major languages of Nigeria. We will primarily sing Hausa songs because that is the dominant language of our region. I'm planning to have a different lead vocalist on each of the 8 songs. I'm looking forward to to our "choir practices" this week under the mango tree where we will continue to narrow our selection of song leaders.

Oh yes, I think I also got the title of the album today: Women, Come & Sing. A woman named Elizabeth always sings that song. I never knew what it meant until I heard the translation today. Many of the women have testified that their spirits are always lifted when they come to our Monday gathering for prayer, Bible study, singing, dancing, and plenty of laughter.

Plan B is often better!

Last year I wrote a newsletter about going from Plan A to Plan G in one day, and how it's just best to enjoy the ride. I wish I could learn to heed my own advice before I get my nose out of joint.

Since our sewing program has expanded so much, we can no longer fit inside a building for our large group gatherings on Mondays. So I decided that we would sew a canopy that would seat 150 people. Never mind that I didn't have a pattern and had never sewn on vinyl-tarplike material before. But that's a story for another day. The canopy is not perfect, but it has been serving our purpose very well for the past few months.

Our Monday large group gathering was to start at 1 p.m. today, and the canopy was not up. I went to find out why and was told that the builder was marking lines for the foundation of the new vocational training center. Our canopy center pole anchor happens to be cemented right in the midst of some of these lines. What can we do? The sun in scorching hot. All of these ladies are standing around wondering where we're going to meet. There is no place big enough to contain all of us. I met Sarah and told her to make a choice: under the mango tree, inside the uncompleted clinic building, or maybe we could all squish in the Bezer Home living room. She refused to be disturbed by the last minute change of venue, and quickly made everyone feel at home under the mango tree, the baby flame trees, and on the rocks. However, I sat at the back by the cement wall, silently pouting that nobody told me I wouldn't be able to use the canopy today because they would be marking lines.

It didn't take long before the Lord showed me that this place was even better. Sarah was standing in the middle, sharing from the Bible; the women were seated all around her, a bit helter-skelter due to the large rocks, but it was beautiful. I never would have believed that 60+ of us could gather in this area and all find a bit of shade. It was such a gorgeous setting with the mango-laden branches nearly touching the ground. The baby flame trees provided just the right amount of shade.

While Sarah was speaking, some of the ladies in the back by the compound wall started screaming and running. I stood in my spot scanning my eyes for what the problem might be. I thought perhaps it was a bee. It was actually a 2 foot long snake, about an inch in diameter. Once the ladies recovered from their fright, a couple of them took off their shoes and started beating the snake to death. For years Bayo has been telling me that there are snakes on the land. I believed him, but I had never seen one myself until today. The ladies had a good laugh after everything was under control.

You know, it's good to have a change of setting once in awhile. I just want to be more welcoming of it the next time it surprises me.

The Pregnancy Bible

Yesterday a brand-new father came up to me after church and vigorously pumped my hand saying, "Thank you SO much for that pregnancy bible you gave us! It helped us so much." He and his wife were married in June 2007 and gave birth to a baby boy in March 2008. This is absolutely the best thing that can happened to newlyweds in Nigeria.

They had visited us in our home in August 2007. Bayo, who is much more observant than I am, had noticed the new bride covertly spitting into a hankerchief while she sat in our livingroom. He later nudged me and asked me to give her my standard pregnancy book which I always try to have on hand. They were very grateful for the book. I didn't see them again until yesterday in church.

Back in 2000 when I was pregnant with Tobi, a fellow missionary named Dorothy Ardill gave me a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting. She said she usually picked some up at garage sales in the U.S. and brought them back to Nigeria for expectant moms. She didn't even want me to give it back to her; she said I should just pass it on to someone else when I was finished.

Dorothy's kindness to me has blessed many other people as I took up the challenge and began scouring garage sales, used book stores, and my friends' bookshelves when I was back in the U.S. To date, I'm sure I've given away over 50 copies. I never ask for the books to be returned. I want the books to get out into the community and to be used and re-used for years to come. Numerous friends in the U.S. have helped me collect pregnancy books over the years. I just checked my stock--I'm down to only 3!

I'm happy to give out any type of pregnancy book I get, although I prefer the What to Expect books because of their simple month-by-month format as well as their question-answer format. In general, these books are not readily available in Jos. The average Nigerian woman does not have a book to refer to during pregnancy. They are always thrilled when I give them the book. So many have commented that it helped put their fears to rest, and they didn't have to run to the doctor for every little symptom.

For a number of years I have given out diaper bags (from the U.S.) as part of a new baby gift. A young mom in my parents' church in Minnesota really took this on as a ministry of her own: Allison started collecting diaper bags and sending them to Nigeria. I've probably given out over 50 of these as well. New moms love to have an attractive diaper bag. Diaper bags are available for sale here, but they are quite costly as they are usually imported. I have often bought diaper bags for 99 cents at the Goodwill near my parents' home. It appears that many of them come from formula companies and are probably even given away free in the hospital.