This comment came via email regarding the previous post:
I think Lily is a good name and applaud your decision to keep it the legal one. But, perhaps you could also call her Lilianna for a while at her 3-year-old request, just not making it legal, but more as a nickname. That would please her for now, perhaps.
I used to imagine that I wanted my name, Diane, changed to Diana. Somehow that seemed better to me as a young child. Now, as an adult, I am SO glad God named me Diane and not Diana!! "Diane" means "perfect" in the sense of "complete." For reasons known to me and God and a few others, this is just the right name for me. I am glad my name is still Diane.
Would anyone else like to comment on their own name?
Friday, August 28, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
What's in a Name?
Today Lily told me that she wants to be called "Lilianna."
Later in the day I got to thinking, "Why not?" In the next few days we're going to be submitting some official documents for her adoption. We can give her any name we want.
I mentioned it to Bayo, but he didn't think it was a good idea. He said for the sake of her identity, it's good for her to have the name that she has grown up with. If she goes through an identity crisis when she's older, she might even say, "After all, I even named myself!" I think he's probably right.
Lily was lovingly named by her first foster parents, and we never considered changing her name when she came to our home. It's a beautiful name and it fits her perfectly. Besides, now my mom has her two flowery granddaughters: Iris & Lily.
If I had given birth to a girl, we would have named her Emily. But I was delighted when a Lily came to live with us.
When I was in junior high, I remember wanting to change the spelling of my name. I wouldn't be surprised if a number of girls/women have had thoughts of different names or slight variations of their name. I just didn't expect to hear it from a 3-year-old!
Later in the day I got to thinking, "Why not?" In the next few days we're going to be submitting some official documents for her adoption. We can give her any name we want.
I mentioned it to Bayo, but he didn't think it was a good idea. He said for the sake of her identity, it's good for her to have the name that she has grown up with. If she goes through an identity crisis when she's older, she might even say, "After all, I even named myself!" I think he's probably right.
Lily was lovingly named by her first foster parents, and we never considered changing her name when she came to our home. It's a beautiful name and it fits her perfectly. Besides, now my mom has her two flowery granddaughters: Iris & Lily.
If I had given birth to a girl, we would have named her Emily. But I was delighted when a Lily came to live with us.
When I was in junior high, I remember wanting to change the spelling of my name. I wouldn't be surprised if a number of girls/women have had thoughts of different names or slight variations of their name. I just didn't expect to hear it from a 3-year-old!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Margin
Have you ever wondered why books have blank margins on the edges of the paper? What would it be like to read a book without margins? I think it would drive my eyes crazy, and I would quickly toss it aside. Margins provide breathing room.
Although it was great to be in the U.S. for June & July, we had very little margin. There was virtually no wiggle-room, no breathing space. I thoroughly enjoyed my visits with family, friends, and churches, but my schedule was just too jam-packed. Whose fault? Mostly my own, trying to do too much.
One Sunday morning, I spoke in three services at two different churches within a span of three hours. While I was sitting in the pew, waiting to be introduced at the second church, I felt so weak. I just prayed, "Lord, I can't do this on my own power. Please help me to stand up and speak." It was, by far, the best talk out of 25 this summer. I was able to really connect with the congregation. Hmmm, that sounds like 2 Cor. 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
In our 60 days in the U.S., we drove 7500 miles and slept in 27 different places. I have to tell you, the boys were real troopers! They travelled amazingly well. Of course, the DVD player in Grandma & Grandpa's van probably had something to do with that!
Our time was roughly split between staying in hotels and homes. We thoroughly enjoyed both. Sometimes we just needed to be our own little family unit with no conversational or behavioral demands. But on the other hand, when we stay with the same families over the years, we really develop some good friendships.
Now that we're back home, and have some margin, I am even more aware of the imbalance in our lives in June & July. When I'm in Nigeria, I check my three email accounts with some degree of regularity. One is checked daily and the other two every week or so. When I was in the U.S., I completely forgot about the two accounts that I check periodically. Now I'm wading through months of emails (mostly junk) and finding a few that really needed answers weeks ago. So I've just finished writing about 10 emails that all began with an apology.
I'm reading consistently to the kids every night now, and I even find time to read a book myself. I still feel like that is a luxury right now because I had to go without. Let's face it: if you can't find time to read for 15-30 min. a day, then your day is just too full!
Since this was my 7th furlough, you would think I would have had a wealth of experience from which to draw. But my two major hindrances were that Bayo was not with me and all of my visits were condensed into two months instead of the usual three.
When Bayo is along we share the driving (he drives on the interstate; I drive in the cities), the child care, and all the set-up, presentation, and take-down of our programs. While he's driving, I can read a book or make contacts for our upcoming visits.
One Sunday morning, I was speaking at a church and Tobi was running the powerpoint on the computer. The boys were sitting in the pew just 12 inches in front of me, and they started to push each other with their hands and legs. What to do? How could I communicate to my boys while standing in front of the church speaking? The evil eye and tight face would be seen by all. To make matters worse, the mic I was using was bringing in a faint country music station. I thought I was going to lose my mind. In the end, I just decided to block out all the distractions and concentrate on what I was saying. It was hard being a single parent.
I'm reminded of a missionary who was preaching from the pulpit while on home assignment in the U.S. and he saw his five children in the front pew start misbehaving. He calmly said to the congregation, "I'd like to read some Arabic so you can hear what the language sounds like." Then he said in Arabic, "You kids better sit down and behave right now." Instantly the children became angels. It's too bad my children and I don't share a language apart from English!
We temporarily divided our family in order to provide stability for Lily. Even though the summer schedule was demanding, I have to admit that we achieved our goal. I have not noticed any negative residual effects in Lily due to the absence of three family members. And I am very confident that all of our adoption issues will be resolved before we travel again!
Although it was great to be in the U.S. for June & July, we had very little margin. There was virtually no wiggle-room, no breathing space. I thoroughly enjoyed my visits with family, friends, and churches, but my schedule was just too jam-packed. Whose fault? Mostly my own, trying to do too much.
One Sunday morning, I spoke in three services at two different churches within a span of three hours. While I was sitting in the pew, waiting to be introduced at the second church, I felt so weak. I just prayed, "Lord, I can't do this on my own power. Please help me to stand up and speak." It was, by far, the best talk out of 25 this summer. I was able to really connect with the congregation. Hmmm, that sounds like 2 Cor. 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
In our 60 days in the U.S., we drove 7500 miles and slept in 27 different places. I have to tell you, the boys were real troopers! They travelled amazingly well. Of course, the DVD player in Grandma & Grandpa's van probably had something to do with that!
Our time was roughly split between staying in hotels and homes. We thoroughly enjoyed both. Sometimes we just needed to be our own little family unit with no conversational or behavioral demands. But on the other hand, when we stay with the same families over the years, we really develop some good friendships.
Now that we're back home, and have some margin, I am even more aware of the imbalance in our lives in June & July. When I'm in Nigeria, I check my three email accounts with some degree of regularity. One is checked daily and the other two every week or so. When I was in the U.S., I completely forgot about the two accounts that I check periodically. Now I'm wading through months of emails (mostly junk) and finding a few that really needed answers weeks ago. So I've just finished writing about 10 emails that all began with an apology.
I'm reading consistently to the kids every night now, and I even find time to read a book myself. I still feel like that is a luxury right now because I had to go without. Let's face it: if you can't find time to read for 15-30 min. a day, then your day is just too full!
Since this was my 7th furlough, you would think I would have had a wealth of experience from which to draw. But my two major hindrances were that Bayo was not with me and all of my visits were condensed into two months instead of the usual three.
When Bayo is along we share the driving (he drives on the interstate; I drive in the cities), the child care, and all the set-up, presentation, and take-down of our programs. While he's driving, I can read a book or make contacts for our upcoming visits.
One Sunday morning, I was speaking at a church and Tobi was running the powerpoint on the computer. The boys were sitting in the pew just 12 inches in front of me, and they started to push each other with their hands and legs. What to do? How could I communicate to my boys while standing in front of the church speaking? The evil eye and tight face would be seen by all. To make matters worse, the mic I was using was bringing in a faint country music station. I thought I was going to lose my mind. In the end, I just decided to block out all the distractions and concentrate on what I was saying. It was hard being a single parent.
I'm reminded of a missionary who was preaching from the pulpit while on home assignment in the U.S. and he saw his five children in the front pew start misbehaving. He calmly said to the congregation, "I'd like to read some Arabic so you can hear what the language sounds like." Then he said in Arabic, "You kids better sit down and behave right now." Instantly the children became angels. It's too bad my children and I don't share a language apart from English!
We temporarily divided our family in order to provide stability for Lily. Even though the summer schedule was demanding, I have to admit that we achieved our goal. I have not noticed any negative residual effects in Lily due to the absence of three family members. And I am very confident that all of our adoption issues will be resolved before we travel again!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Change, Please
When making a purchase in Nigeria, it is often difficult to get change from the vendor. Sometimes change is genuinely hard to come by, but other times it is a business technique designed to get you to spend more money.
Seller 3: Ma, what of carrots?
A couple of years ago, the government minted some new one naira coins (worth less than one penny) and two naira coins. The coins aren't worth much, but they do help to finish up a transaction properly. Strangely enough after seeing the new coins around for a couple of months, they seemed to drop out of circulation. People were used to carrying paper money and didn't want to be bothered with heavy coins.
A couple weeks ago when I bought some items at a major supermarket, my total was something like N3,446 ($22.09). I gave the cashier N3,500. Now, this supermarket never has the coins to make a transaction exact. I knew that so I was expecting him to give me N55 change. Well, he gave me N50. I told him that's not right for the store to keep my N4 change. It's better for the store to lose N1 than for the customer to lose N4. (And vice versa: if the larger amount were in the store's favor, then I would say they should keep my smaller amount.) This has been going on for a long time, and since I had just come back from the U.S. where everything is so precise, I said something. He acquiesed and gave me N55 change.
Well, when I stopped at the same supermarket today, the cashier recognized me, and got out some brand new coins and gave me EXACT change! I smiled, and said, "I'm happy!" He grinned broadly. This is the first time I have seen coins this year! Maybe even in the last two years!
Then I went on to the outdoor vegetable sellers and encountered another variety of "no change." I bought N300 of guavas, N350 of lemons, and N100 of mangos for a total of N750. I handed the seller my N1000 note. And then the cajoling began:
Seller 1: Madam, come and buy N250 bananas.
MB: No thank you. Bring me my change.
Seller 2: Madam, come and buy oranges.
MB: No thank you. Bring me my change.
Seller 3: Ma, what of carrots?
MB: No thank you. Bring me my change.
Then I decided I would take a new tactic on the game. "Please bring me a stool so I can sit down and wait for my change." I had hardly seated myself when the N250 was produced. It wasn't that they didn't have change, but they really wanted me to spend my whole N1000 in their market.
What's the big deal? Couldn't I have used bananas, oranges, or carrots? Well, probably, but 1) I don't want them to wear me down everytime and 2) maybe I have a plan for that N250 change.
In all of these situations, it is essential to maintain a sense of humor and lighthearted banter--never anger. Nigerians like a lot of good-natured "back and forth" in the market.
And once in awhile I do give in: Earlier today I bought a bunch of plantain from an old man who was carrying his load of plantain on his head. I bargained the price down to N400 for a small bunch. When I gave him N500, he said "no change," and wanted me to buy two more plantain to make up for it. I agreed--maybe because my whole family was desperate to eat plantain.
In spite of all these stories, I must admit that there are some fine establishments that always produce exact change without any prompting.
In spite of all these stories, I must admit that there are some fine establishments that always produce exact change without any prompting. Thursday, August 20, 2009
African Rainstorm
It's August so we expect a downpour nearly everyday. Today I asked three Nigerian women: Do you prefer rainy season or dry season? All of them responded that they like rainy season because they don't have to suffer to look for water. I said, "But when you wash your clothes, they never get dry in the rainy season." They laughed and said it's true. One lady said she washed her clothes three days ago and they're still not dry. But that is considered a minor inconvenience compared to the luxury of having rainwater every day.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Fayette County, Iowa
Here's a recent comment from someone who lives right near the quilts that I pictured in my blog on Aug. 17:
Greetings from Zion Lutheran Church in West Union, Iowa. I was really pleasantly surprised when I saw the barn quilts along Hwy 150. They happen to be neighbors and landlords. My husband farms the land around these barns. The first one I drive by 4-6 times a day going to and from work here at the church.
Fayette County has 52 barn quilts. Visit this link: http://visitiowa.org/ and click on Fayette County on left sidebar and then tours on top bar. You'll eventually find a brochure. The first barn quilt you have pictured is called Harvest Star and the second one is Gentlemen's Fancy. The barn owners had some input into choice of design and colors.
Last fall the county tourism group hosted a bus tour of the barn quilts in Fayette County. I understand that the other counties do this too and buses come from out of state to also tour the quilts. Fayette Co. is working on getting more quilts placed on barns. Some of the quilts are placed on other barns that are not red and white. The barn just needs to be in good condition and easily seen from the road.
Thanks for promoting Fayette County and its rural way of life from Nigeria. May God's grace touch you today.
Pam L.
Greetings from Zion Lutheran Church in West Union, Iowa. I was really pleasantly surprised when I saw the barn quilts along Hwy 150. They happen to be neighbors and landlords. My husband farms the land around these barns. The first one I drive by 4-6 times a day going to and from work here at the church.
Fayette County has 52 barn quilts. Visit this link: http://visitiowa.org/ and click on Fayette County on left sidebar and then tours on top bar. You'll eventually find a brochure. The first barn quilt you have pictured is called Harvest Star and the second one is Gentlemen's Fancy. The barn owners had some input into choice of design and colors.
Last fall the county tourism group hosted a bus tour of the barn quilts in Fayette County. I understand that the other counties do this too and buses come from out of state to also tour the quilts. Fayette Co. is working on getting more quilts placed on barns. Some of the quilts are placed on other barns that are not red and white. The barn just needs to be in good condition and easily seen from the road.
Thanks for promoting Fayette County and its rural way of life from Nigeria. May God's grace touch you today.
Pam L.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Barn Quilt Update
Thanks to my friend Sue in Iowa for this informative link on the barn quilts!
http://www.americanprofile.com/spotlights/article/19683.html
http://www.americanprofile.com/spotlights/article/19683.html
Monday, August 17, 2009
Barns & Quilt Blocks in the Heartland
As I drove through Iowa in June & July, I was thrilled to see a number of barns boldly displaying a large quilt block. Each one was different and stunning. This trend seemed to be most popular in Sac County and Fayette County. I don't remember seeing any quilt blocks in 2007 when I was in Iowa. As near as I can tell, each block is about 5 or 6 feet square.What a unique idea! I love the way the quilt blocks and the barns are linked together in the history of Iowa. I don't know the story behind this new trend, but would love to hear about it from someone who knows.
I didn't see any evidence of this unique pairing in Minnesota. I'm trying to convince my dad that he should put a quilt block on his new barn in northern Minnesota!
Can't you just visualize a quilt block right above the garage door? By the way, that's Grandpa with two of his grandsons on the tractor.
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